Bits & Pieces: A Mega Post

Wow. I don't know where to start  but I suggest you get yourself a tasty beverage and a snack before settling in to read because this one is gonna be a doozy. it's hella long and the pics don't kick in for a good long while.

In The Beginning 

I'm wide awake right now and trust me I don't want to be...  My mind is all over the place because it's been a rather interesting week. I think I'll just write, in no particular order, and see where it goes.

Come On Now...

I got up to use the bathroom around my usual time and some brain surgeon stole the toilet paper. We were out of baby wipes in that bathroom so I had to sit and air dry until I could go downstairs to the bathroom with wipes. Sheesh. You mean to tell me these folks are that damn lazy that they couldn't walk downstairs for a new roll? Gah! Obviously if it was taken, that means the person wasn't actually using the toilet, they were just stealing the paper because if they were using the loo, they would have wiped and left the damned roll there for the next customer.

Yesterday as I was obsessively organizing the linen closet and I heard a knock on the door. I peep out and it's the neighbor lady. Turns out our garage door had been left open by "someone" for HOURS... while I was alone in the house with the girls and the connecting door to the house was UNLOCKED... Look here, I'm from NYC where you get robbed and worse behind shit like that. I understand that people forget things at times when they're distracted but the safety of your home should be as second nature as breathing.

Randomage...

I was just perusing a friend's website and they had a blog roll which pretty much consisted of a thumbnail, the person's name as well as a succinct bio (i.e. artist, dj, singer etc...). I was a bit confused by one description which was lifestyle influencer. What exactly is that and  how much does it pay? How, exactly, does one practice the art of being a lifestyle influencer. According to my simple mind, everyone on earth is a lifestyle influencer to some degree or another, so what makes this gentleman so special. Where do I sign up? I'm sure I influence a lifestyle or two with my antics and if people are getting paid for breathing, I want in. In the spirit of giving one's self a title, I have decided to promote myself as a Reality Monger. I'm good for peddling that real shit. Yup. All day, every day.

Speaking of Mumbling "Bullshit!"...

I wrote briefly about my trip to LA a few weeks ago and it turns out some crappery has taken place behind that whole episode. While I was there I hung out with family and a few friends from back home. My cousin, who shall remain nameless due to my promise to stop putting some folks on front street, was one of the people I chilled with. She's single, fun, pretty and basically a good person. She used to date one of our friends waaaaay back in the day. We hung out with the aforementioned friend that weekend.

Apparently they rekindled the physical aspect of their old time relationship during my visit. I sort of knew it was going down but who am I to judge what a grown woman does with her cooter? She's single and as far as I heard, he's pretty much single. The pretty much comes in because he's sort of "talking" to his ex but their not bumping uglies with the girl because of conflicting schedules (he's a workoholic) and their on again, off again status. We all saw him stepping to the side to call the girl and I brought it to my cousin's attention that sleeping with him might not be a good idea since he has something, however partial it may be, in the background. I thought I made sense...

My cousin said she didn't care because she wasn't looking to hook back up with him permanently. She told me that she hadn't gotten "any" in quite some time and was just looking to have some fun. I still thought it was a bad idea. Rekindling of any kind is always a bad idea unless the two people involved are very clear about where they are going with it. And I was right. She was thinking that they'd just be friends and play it by ear. He wasn't thinking.

She called me recently to plan out our next weekend jaunt to LA. Did I mention she lives in Pasedena? No? Well she lives in Pasedena. A few of my friends from NY are heading out this way and I also wanna hook up with my AfroPunk fam out here (hey Rosie!!!!). Anyway, I made the mistake of asking her what was up with our boy and did she let him know we were coming back out that way. Her response was straight to the point: Fuck That N*gg*!!!

Whoa.

Where did that come from?

Turns out that after we all returned home, she contacted him and after telling her he'd call her back, she never heard from him again. He wouldn't return her calls or texts. I asked her if they'd had any harsh words since we all parted ways and as I expected, she said no. Here's the sticker: remember when I said old friends were acting funny style? I was talking about  THE SAME DUDE!  My deal was that he had offered me a chance to make some money doing some freelance flyer design for a shop that he works at part time. He promised to send me the information I needed so that I could create a sample, send it back to him and he could shop it to his boss. I was really looking forward to the opportunity because I'm not exactly rolling in dough and it is the holiday season and I have gifts to buy.

I contacted him soon after I left LA to find out what was going on with the stock images he was to send me and after telling me he'd get back to me with the files asap, I never heard from him again either! He wouldn't return my calls or texts. Now if you know me, you know after a while I suggested that he go fuck himself with a rather large dong.

WTF? I initially believed that something went wrong on the business end of things. I figured that he told his boss about what he had planned for the store sale flyer and his boss 86'd the idea. If that was the case, maybe my boy is too much of a fassy to just give it to me straight. He'd rather avoid me than let me know that the opportunity for me to make some money didn't work out because he doesn't want to let me down. Now I'm of the mind that he's avoiding me because he porked my cousin, doesn't want to be bothered with her and is avoiding both of us in hopes of dodging the riot act that he so richly deserves.

Ha.

Dude:

Karma is one fine bitch and what goes around is gonna bite a large chunk out of your sorry ass when it comes back around. You've known my cousin longer than you've known me and you've known me almost 14 years. No matter what the reason, whether it be the job falling through or not wanting to be involved with cuzo, you should have given a heads up. Friendship as well as common decency dictates that you at least be man enough to let people know what's what. So um, eat a hefty bag of dicks. Jerk.

Food Doth Comfort...

The other night we had Kish & James over for snacks and drinks. James brought over a bottle of Patron. I must say that although he purchased the most expensive Patron they make, my body still insists that tequila is not for me. My body also reminded me that I should quit playing with it and it did so by giving me a headache the next day. You know the one, the kind that sits behind one eye and kicks your brain for a few hours while laughing at your feeble attempts to placate it with asprin.... Yeah. That one.

I made fried chicken and macky cheeese. I love that stuff. I usually get fresh chicken wings, not those frozen drummettes. Then I clean my chicken with lime/lemon and vinegar. I add herbs & spices to give it a kick and let it sit until cook time. My batter secret is this stuff:

I've tried using regular old flour and it just doesn't fry up right. This stuff is 2 miles past the BOMB. The chicken comes out crispy. I also add panko (Japanese bread crumbs) if I want my chicken to be on the extra crispy side. My sister also introduced me to the joy that is the Fry Daddy. Holy shit. What rock have I been hiding under that I didn't know about these? Talk about convenient? Perfect temperature control, even oil heating and the basket allows you to pre-drain the food before tossing them on a paper-towel lined plate to soak up the oil. Lord. Yes. Amen.

For the macky cheese I used sharp and mild cheddar. Usually I use mild and medium but without the sharp, the taste is a little bland. Error? Corrected. I decided to make it with mini farfalle pasta and sautéed some fresh shallots in butter before adding it to the milk and egg I use to bind the macky cheese. I then sprinkled paprika and some of my parsley Parmesan breadcrumb mix that I usually use for my salmon bake on top. Let me just say that the only reason there were any leftovers is because I made so much damn food. Trust me, it was all gone by last night.

I love comfort food.

Last night it was burgers... oh boy. I had it with pre-made onion rings which were pretty tasty having been fried in the same oil that I used for the chicken the night before. There's a lot to be said for food fried in chicken oil. Yes lawd and amen.

 Check the process:

I seasoned my patty with Montreal and Kansas city steak seasoning.

Then I started adding stuff. I topped the burger with fresh diced shallots and melted  mozzarella over the top of the shallots.  Yum! On the bottom bun I layered a few fresh basil leaves then added  some bacon, lettuce and tomato on top. The only thing I could do after eating was sit there in a daze.

And

Yes.

I'm gaining weight again. Yay!!!!

MySpace Oddity

I forgot what a social networking junkie I used to be. As of right now, I troll facebook and update twitter pretty regularly. Back in 2000? I was a BEAST. I was on, that I can remember), Friendster, BlackPlanet, Migente, Aol and Hi5. It was a damn shame. Most of those accounts have long since been cancelled due to inactivity. Some sites I haven't logged on to in over 5 years. Myspace was pretty much my mainstay until I got really hooked on Facebook. I guess I like Facebook because it's not a psuedo-reality.

Most people on FaceBook are not creating alternate reality. Although a lot of people that know me from way back don't call me Mala, I'm still exactly who I've always been (give or take a few cuss words). I've found friends from junior high on FaceBook. I also like the fact that Facebook doesn't allow people to do insanely garish and resource consuming things to their page. Nothing worse than navigating to some hooker's page and "let me smell your d*ck" starts playing at top volume while a slide show of them in neon thongs starts loading. Gah!

Anyway, I wanted to go back to my old MySpace page to collect the pictures that I have in my account and I forgot my damned password. What's worse is the only way to retrieve it is to send it to email. Problem is I haven't used that email address since 2003... It's long since been deactivated. MySpace has a solution for people like me. It's called a "salute". Basically you write your name on a piece of paper and send it to them. As long as you have pics on your page, they match your face to your pics and issue you new log on information to your alternate email address. Here's my salute:

I doctored it up because I looked a hot ass mess... sue me for being vain.

I also came across some old photos I had on Friendster. Some outfits I had on I'd rather forget ever existed but I did find two that reminded me of the good old days.

One was of me and muMs back when he was in NYC and not being so anti social. The other is of me at my 30th birthday party. I think I still pretty much look exactly the same. Black don't crack, as they say and I noticed that most of my friends look more mature, not older. They say your 30's are the new 20's. That's fucked up because that means people in their 20's should not be allowed outside without a fucking chaperone. Word.

You can't tell me SHIT!!!

Elves Can Bite Me...

Shopping during the holidays can be a pain in the ass. I haven't gotten around to doing a lot of shopping yet because of budgeting issues and my intense hatred of being surrounded by people that are fucking idiots. Ever been in the mall with people who are willing to rip your arm off over a scarf? I'm sure you have but my natural response is to kick shins. I don't want the fucking scarf that badly and I take offense to being shoved out of the way for some paltry item made of fake cashmere. My hatred of idiots is compounded by my intense dislike of crowds. It's not a good combination.

I tend to try to shop while everyone is work or utilize the internet and ship to store options. While this normally works, sometimes you can really get fucking screwed. Like the grand fucking I got from E.L.F. cosmetics. I still feel the grease they used to pork me.

For those of you that don't know, E.L.F. is a budget cosmetics company that retails from $1 - $25. As a lower end cosmetics company, their products are pretty good. I have no complaints about their implements, brushes, eyeshadows or lip products. I've never used their foundations or blushes so I can't speak on those but I like using all of their other products. They also always have great coupons and promotions that cut down their already rock bottom prices. What I don't like is their online shopping. These people are the fucking worst.

I placed an order on a Monday for some items that I planned to give as a gift. By that Friday there was still no word on my order. The website said it was still processing. So of course I got miffed. I called them to complain and got no one. The recording said it was after business hours, which was fine by me since it was the weekend, however it did mention that the company was closed for the Thanksgiving holiday which had passed over a week before. What kind of company forgets to change their voicemail greeting? I got my complain on, by both mail and voice-messages.

By the following Monday, a wonderful lady from customer service called me back. She let me know that order processing (finding the shit in your order and putting it in a fucking package) takes longer during the holidays. Also she let me know that my order was pretty much put together and  would be shipped the next day. To make up for my inconvenience, she upgraded my shipping to 3 day select which meant I would receive my order on Friday (the one that just passed). I wrote another letter to the company praising Anya (the cs rep) and her excellent customer service. I was pacified, that is until I got my package on Friday.

Let me start by saying the envelope arrived half open, sporting a band of clear tape and footprints. What the fuck was FedEx doing, playing football with my shit? The top of the envelope that was torn halfway open and then folded over and taped down. Obviously someone from FedEx had been in my order before I could get it. Fuckers. So I open the package the rest of the way and what do I find? NOT ONE FUCKING ITEM I ORDERED. No. Bullshit. I ordered 13 items all relating to eyes. You know what I got? I got a french manicure kit.

I understand that I got half off my order. I understand that my order was less than $15. That's not the FUCKING POINT. The point is, it's my money. I ordered a product. They accepted my money but DID NOT DELIVER ANYTHING THEY PROMISED.

Fuck.

and

Double Fuck!

I went FUCKING BALLISTIC!! So I calls these fuckers, before 6pm Eastern and spend 15 minutes on hold... only to hear a recording that says it's after business hours and no one is there to take my call. Why yes, a bitch did flip at this point. I was practically yelling into the phone at this point. I then called the cs manager that had written me after my glowing praise of her rep Anya. How did I have her number, you ask? It was the signature on the reply email. I think I left around 4 messages total and not one of them was below scream level. I then followed it up with scathing emails along the same vein.

E.L.F. has one saving grace: their customer service reps and managers bend over backwards to correct the wrongs of the other idiots in the company that can't help but take forever to process an order and even then can't get it right. To make up for this clusterfuck, the cs manager reshipped my order with 2 day service and gave me a refund. We'll see how that works out by Tuesday.

And yes, FedEx caught a piece too... I have a claim with them and my shit BETTER NOT SHOW UP HALF-OPEN AND RE-TAPED or they are bang in the shitter...

Fish Scales...

If you're a  hustler, you pretty much know what fish scale is for. I can tell you one thing: it's not for eating. Ever get a popcorn shell piece suction-stuck to the roof of your mouth? Well fish scales do the same thing. Often when you buy fresh fish you have it cleaned before you take it home. I can gut and clean a fish but I don't enjoy doing it. If you're a true wuss, you can have the fish head and tail removed. Personally I believe that's a tragedy.

 Little do people realize, they weigh the fish prior to removing the head and tail. You pay the price for the whole fish, not the lesser weight of the cleaned fish. Also, said head and tail is usual resold as parts for stock. Waste not, want not is the motto of the fish market if not the consumer. You can also have your fish de-boned and cut into nice little fillets with the skin left on or removed. What you generally  don't get, unless you like smelly, hard work, is fish with the scales left on. Oh sure, there might be a rouge scale or two hanging on so it's always good to run a knife over  a fish if the skin is on (especially around hard to reach places like under the fins and around the gill). What you NEVER (to my knowledge and years on earth) get is a fish fillet , skin on, covered in fucking scales.

If this held true, tell me why I ended up like this:

 

Yes. That is a picture of my pretty, french-manicured hand holding a knife over a cutting board covered in fish scales... and yon is a picture of the offending fish that I had to take out to the back yard to scale so that I wouldn't end up with the kitchen smelling like the underside of a wharf.

What's the big deal, you ask? Let me break it down for you: that was a WILD SALMON FILLET... PURCHASED IN THE SEAFOOD SECTION OF THE SUPERMARKET. It wasn't supposed to be covered in FUCKING SCALES... Bet you didn't know that trying to scale cut fish results in the flesh being destroyed because it's being rubbed against whatever surface you're cleaning it on? Yep. So the surface of my $13 wild salmon fillet looked like some one ran it over a cheese grater by the time I was done.

I still cooked it and it tasted pretty good but I'm still angry. It was a 20 minutes of drudgery, it wore me out, made my arms hurt and I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me I smelled like Vanessa Del Rio's dirty drawers afterwards... Sheesh. I generally don't buy my fish in a supermarket as a rule but we haven't been able to locate one as of yet so I had no choice. After this experience, you can rest assured it will never happen again. Word.

So yeah, Albertson's can blow me... like for real.

Well, I think that's about it. Oh no, wait. I forgot to mention the weather. While the temperature had been mild ranging between 40 and 60 degrees, the rain has been a bitch. Who ever sang that song about it never raining in Southern California was either full of shit or has never been here during the "winter". I woke up to gale force winds, tree limbs whipping around and a all out deluge. The good part is it pretty much stops during the day. The better part is it will be in the 70's next weekend which is perfect for my second LA jaunt (see you soon Rosenda!!!). I hear tell it's like a billion degrees below zero in NY and there's an epidemic of frozen nipples taking over the city. That sucks... big time *snicker*.

Ok, that should be about it. Sheesh, I almost omitted the tequila edit:

Strawberry Margharita's get the ok.

Look at the smile on my kisser... can the people say CHEESE!!!

m.

getting ready for an interesting Sunday...

Today's LoLCat Comes With A Blog-By

I have a weird kind of insomnia that causes me to awaken at the same time every night. Between the hours of 2:30 and 3:00 am PST every morning, I wake up to use the bathroom. I call it the pee clock. Not to be confused with the body clock that wakes me up to give my niece breakfast by 8:15 am pst. Since I have racing thoughts, it takes me a while to get back to sleep. Sometimes I get stuck on one particular thought and I go over it and over it.

It can be anything. A song, a funny anecdote, something I talked to a friend about, a movie or show I watched or just a random thought that pops in to my head.Tonight's recurring thought is about some real bullshit my friend told me. I can't figure it out so I'm going to write about it. Maybe that will let me go back to sleep finally...

All About A

(names have been changed to protect both innocence and stupidity)

A is a beautiful girl. Smart, vivacious, out-going, load's o' shiny fun and a bit of a firecracker. I love hanging out with her (when I'm around) and she always makes me laugh when she's in a good mood. The problem is: her mood has really sucked cheese nips as of late. The reason? A is the only woman I know that gives me a run for my money when it comes to dating unsavory characters. I pick some winners but A? She dates the Dukes and Earls of Douchebaggery. Seriously.

Her latest guy is working my damn nerves. She finally got rid of the guy that used to think it was ok to belt her one across the jaw. For some strange reason she traded him in for the one that has her on an emotional rollercoaster. I try to be a good friend and just listen but sometimes I want to yell FUCK THAT PIECE OF SHIT! LEAVE HIS ASS ALONE! But you know how it goes. Friends want you to listen, they don't really want advice. Most people already know what to do and the fact that they haven't done it yet means that they're not ready or don't want to do it. You telling them anything is pointless. It either goes in one ear and out the other or it angers them to hear the truth and you compromise your friendship with that person.

Needless to say, whenever A calls me about 46 (random number) near or in tears, I commiserate and add the requisite "Oooh girl, NO HE DIDN'T!" at the proper intervals. What's making me sad is that as time goes by, these calls are getting more and more frequent. They're always having some kind of problem and this has been going on for some time now. They bicker non-stop. They play the blame game. They barely get along with each other but they both claim they're in love. I swear, I've been around them a few times and it doesn't seem like love to me, it seems like a bad acid trip.

Now that I'm in Cali, I don't have to be confronted with the pure fuckery that is their "relationship" in person. I get to hear about his latest bouts of chicanery by phone. It's a lot easier to deal with, as I have the option to say "Girl, I gotta go take care of my niece/check the food on the stove/gouge out my ear drums," whenever the tales of their latest episodes gets to working that last nerve. It's worn down to a nub, that last nerve is and it can't take much more bullshit.

Tonight I sat on the phone listening to the more recent acts of fuckery perpertrated by her boyfriend, and trust me, I use that terms looser than Perez Hilton's morals. After about an hour of listening to her breaking heart, I had to beg off because, as usual, I wanted to slap some sense into her and tell her to leave this guy alone. Douchebag 2.0 is no better than Tool 1.0. She's still crying all the time, only difference is these tears don't come with a handprint to the jaw.

Today's LoLCat in 3, 2, 1...

see more angry kittehs here...

Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to stop being her friend because I can't deal with her shitty relationships. I've got my own crap to go through in that department and her issues make love an even more depressing than it already can be when you're in love with the wrong damn person for you. I swear, the fact that she won't leave him alone IRKS THE FUCK OUT OF ME. It's not as if she can't get a date or dudes aren't giving her the eye all the time. Why is she sticking with this one guy that treats her like an afterthought? It makes me want to tear my fucking hair out and considering the fact that the mohawk doesn't leave me much in the way of hair, this is NOT A GOOD THING.

I don't know how much longer I can listen to her suffer without saying something to the effect of "bitch it's him or me". She makes me so sad when she's upset that I feel like I'm the one that just got played. Something's got to give.

But in the meantime, let me leave you with the words I couldn't say to her tonight:
Any man who only speaks to you from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, that you can't get in contact with at any other time unless it's a brief call when he knows you're sleeping, has a woman... and it's NOT YOU!
By the way: No HE'S NOT SLEEPING the other 16 hours.
Gah!
What are you? Stupid or just plain dumb?

I hope she reads this and it jolts her back to reality. She stops by my blog sometimes. When you do see this, girl, this is coming from a place of love, really it is. I just want you to be happy.

m.
insomnia is a bitch...

Eye Candy

First off, those of you that know Elle need to stop by her blog. She was in an accident YES SHE'S OK... her car? Not so much. Go give her some love. The Pirate needs it.

Yes, I am fully aware that I suck... Along with the fact that I've been busy getting the last of the boxes out of the new house, I just haven't had the urge to write anything. I'm feeling a bit unproductive these days. I'm thinking of finding part time work. Not just for the money, but to have something to supplement the few projects I've got knocking around. I've got big dreams, but right now I'm wide awake. The creative part of me is screaming out for release. What's the M to do?

I've also got a new hobby: eye-shadow application. I've recently fallen in love with eye-makeup and realized, albeit at a late stage, how blah my every day look used to be. I love shopping for the stuff since it's less pricey than clothing and gets more use. Here's one of my first attempts at blending etc... It's part of pampering myself. Recently I got treated to a day of beauty and it made me feel so good about myself that it's not funny. I felt renewed and refreshed.

I had a hellified day.

Eyebrows threaded

Toes done

Nails applied

Hair cut

Nikes purchased

I feel footloose and fancy free. Yay for me!

I recently connected with a few old friends. Some of them I've known since I was 16 or so, others are more recent going back only 3 or 4 years. It's great to see some folks again. This is especially true when it comes to people that I didn't always get along with, I've done/said some uncalled for sideways shit to, or I simply lost contact with. Catching up was great and it also made me feel in touch with the world.

For a very long time, my day-to-day revolved around 1 person. At first it was nice but then it began to be a trial. When you depend on 1 person for your entire social repertoire, you can get sick of them rather quickly and vice versa. Isolation from your peers and not having a routine of your own can lead to despondency and depression if you're not careful. I tend to lean more towards the "cabin fever" syndrome and belligerence, which is detrimental for any relationship, friend or otherwise.

Of course being away from home, I have a moment to breathe, concentrate on myself, my well being and my needs. I also get to connect with my family and reconnect with friends. I get to choose the parameters of my every day life instead of it being assumed I will automatically spend today with Y doing Z... A roundabout explanation but I'm sure you all catch my drift.

I've also been looking at a lot of trailers lately. No, not the kind that Luann lives in, movie trailers. There's glut in the market of INSANELY BAD MOVIES (i.e. The Box - ruined a perfectly good short story...Gah!). The thought of going to the movies (along with exorbitant cost) doesn't exactly make me want to whoop and holler. However, I have come across a few things that I absolutely MUST see. Peep the trailers:

Evangelion 1.0

 DayBreakers

Blood: The Last Vampire

And saving the best for last...

LEGION

It's so going down!

Fresh, right? Yeah, you gotta wait for it but it will be so worth it. Trust me.

Of course there has been good food and good times. I was going to write a blow-by-blow of my trip to LA but since one of my friends is acting like a tool, I won't bother. It always fucks me up when people act funny style. Like really? I've known some folks for the better part of 16 - 20 YEARS. Then out of no where they decide it's a good idea to act the complete ass. Hmpf. Well, it's not me so they can go on ahead. I REFUSE to carry bags that aren't mine any more. While people that form the fool are doing their thing, I'm doing mine.

I'd swear under oath that heffas can be so fucking asinine sometimes.

Like this chick I know casually in NYC. We used to be cool, then she got cool with this dude I know and all of a sudden wanted no parts of me. She claims I don't like her and I got all sorts of beef with her.
Um: Bitch please.
I'm not even thinking about that ass. Then she went on to claim that she's avoiding me because I've been ice-grilling her and she thinks I want to fight her.
*presses rewind* Bitch please!
a) I'm getting too old and growing too much to be running around slapping chicks in their mouths
and
b) If I did step outside of myself and want to fight the goblin, I would have elbowed her in the throat a long time ago. I'm not the type of person to wait around. Heffa, if I wanted to fight you, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST TO KNOW.

At first I tried to figure out what's going on with this idiot and squash it. I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that she has a jones for the guy we know, who in turn,  likes me. Trick, it ain't my fault... The funny part about it is,  from what I know, even if he wasn't attracted to me, he STILL wouldn't be attracted to her. Go figure.

She tried to get all slick out her face and didn't realize that all the shit that she was saying about me was BEING BROUGHT RIGHT BACK TO ME. Silly rabbit... tricks are for kids. I've said it once, I'll say it again: Just because you see someone's teeth, DOES NOT MEAN THEY'RE SMILING AT YOU. Stupid. Everybody ain't your friend honey. They could give a fuck about you. As for me, when I heard her talking that "Mala is beneath me" bullshit, I decided to let it go. She doesn't impact my life on a daily basis and personally I could care less if she tripped on MY ego and broke her face. So I let it go. Come to find out I'm WAY THE FUCK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY and this mud-duck is STILL steady bringing my name out her mouth.

Play it again Sam: Bitch Please

and

Fuck you very much.

That will be all

Thanks

She can eat a bag of dicks. I don't want to fight her. I don't have beef with her, AT ALL. If we have "issues", it's all in her mind because outside of writing this, I don't think about her whack ass.  I wouldn't give a shit if she caught a violent case of rickets. Word.

Gotta love the haters though.

Moving right along.

So while in LA I didn't do too much. I went to Santa Monica Pier and took pictures. I had Cuban food because if I have another burrito I'm going to throw a brick across the border. I went to Lucky's, Little Temple and the Well. I ate Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles at some insane hour of the morning and came home.

<--- yon Cuban food... looks gross, tasted great!

Back in Sandi, I did some shopping for Christmas gifts for the girls. Well, not so much "shopping" as looking at & laying-away stuff. Remember y'all, M is on a strict, I-is-unemployed-right-now budget so I gotta be careful. My sister and  I went to the Gaslamp District.

oh.

Let me just tell you that if you are going to the GD please, for the love of all that's good and holy, GO HELLA EARLY. Why? because there is no parking. Seriously. It's worse than parking in downtown Manhattan. I mean it. Even the parking lots are full! We drove around for an HOUR looking for parking and ended up paying $10 for a spot in a lot after waiting for someone to pull out!! Gah!

oh.

I nearly forgot to say Fuck You to that guy that tried to "accost my sister". Here's the deal: after spending the better part of our evening looking for parking, my sister and I couldn't figure out where to go.  I stopped and asked this guy wearing a city-worker's vest, figuring he would know. As we were standing there talking to the cw, three clearly drunk dudes (one casper looking motherfucker and two over buff guys wearing their little brother's tight ass shirts) were walking towards us.

My MSense started tingling and I just KNEW one of these fools was going to try to talk to either my sister or me. Casper walks right up on my sister, throws one hand around her waist and the other on her arm.

OH

HELLS

NO

So I asked him "Do you always walk up and touch people you don't know? That kind of shit works where you come from? Seriously? No for real, how does that work?" Because people, that shit is RUDE AS FUCK. I mean really. He doesn't know her. Suppose her husband was nearby? It could have caused MAJOR problems for EVERYONE standing on that corner. Did I mention he doesn't know her? And she's my little sister? I don't care how old she is I'm ALWAYS gonna be protective of her. Why? Because she's a sweet girl, that's why and it takes a whole hell of a lot to push her to the point of handing a motherfucker her version of the Riot Act 2.0. It doesn't take me that long. I like to nip shit in the bud.

Anyway, he removed the offending appendages from her personage and STILL tried to kick it to her, with his drunk ass. Then he had the nerve to say "Why don't you tell me if you want to hang out since she's (meaning me) being so rude..."

EX-SQUEEZE ME?

I'm being rude? He put is hands on  A WOMAN HE DOESN'T KNOW, I check him and I'm the one that's rude? Nah man, as we say in Antigua "dat cyan wuk". You know what happened next right? Yup. I pulled out my trusty-dusty can o' venom and SPRAYED THAT ASS. I let him have it. Bronx style. What motherfucker, What!

In the meantime, one of the tight-shirt metro boys had walked back over and stood there looking rather wetodded with stupid ass grin on his face. So I says to grin-a-rosie "Why don't you get your friend and y'all go on about y'alls business before this shit here get real ugly, cuz it's going bad and it's going bad fast." My sister goes "Oooop, let's go." The cw (who had been trying to tell casper to shut his gob) walks away with us laughing because I'm slanging some choice tidbits at the fool. The cw is like "I've heard some shit in my day but you are GOOD." My sis is like "You have no idea..." As we're walking away casper shouts out that I should go fuck my self... "Not until you're done eating a bag of dicks homey..."

Yep.

I LOVE handing that one to the unsuspecting.

Confrontation? Over.

We then went to Fred's Mexican Cafe. I don't know about you, but I have NEVER  met a Mexican named Fred. Seriously. However, the calamari strips we had were hella good, the bartender knows how to treat a Grand Marnier drinker and they played 80's videos the whole time we were there. Lemme just tell you that Bobby Brown wearing bike shorts with suspenders is fucking HILARIOUS when you're tipsy. Big fun.

The rest of my time has pretty much been spent at home f'doodlin. I've been helping to do the final unpacking and organizing of the house. My sister has insane amounts of stuff. Finding places to put it is a chore best left to those of my ilk who are blessed with a knack for organization complemented by a mild case of OC that-shit-goes-right-there D. I made chicken cutlet parmigana for the first time ever and I swear no one spoke A WORD while eating. Yup. It was pretty damn good. At one point we thought we lost the dog but it turned out that one of the girls had locked poor Bandit in their closet. The discovery of Bandit's whereabouts involved a small amount of pee and a mild heart attack. What? You'd be in the same boat if something furry, with teeth and larger than an ant jumped out at you when you opened a closet door and you didn't expect it. Just sayin'...

Anyway, I'm going to get going. There's a three year old  wandering around the house. She's too quiet and my MSense is telling me she's touching some shit she shouldn't be.

m.

<---- lovin cali livin...

Gobble Gabble

edit: i'll add the rest of the pix tomorrow... i'm too dang tired now. yep.

Ok, I'm back. And don't act like you didn't miss me because you know you did!

So here's what's been going on since I last complained wrote:

Thanksgiving

LA

On to the festivities...

LET'S TALK TURKEY

This Thanksgiving was one of the best I've had in years and I was so happy and content to be where I was, surrounded by people I love and care about. My last 3 sets of holidays were pretty bad. During that time I pretty much spent my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's Day either alone, hanging out as if it wasn't a special day or only getting a few hours of qt before being left for other parts unknown. I never received a gift, a card, flowers or time. This year I promised it would be different. It started off the same but I realized that the only reason it was an unhappy time was because I was allowing it to be. My birthday this year was pretty lousy. I won't even discuss it. You see, I  promised not to talk about certain friends and other folks on this blog because they swore it was ruining their lives. I intend to keep that promise Listening to people bitch and moan that ME sharing MY LIFE EXPERIENCES is awful for them is really an exercise in patience. The fact that I don't go postal is amazing. Suffice to say that I celebrated my birthday by going to the same old places I go normally. No romance. No gifts. No ma'am, that can't work...

After the pure, unadulterated fuckery that took place on my birthday, I made up my mind that I, Mala, would NOT LET ANYONE ELSE RUIN ANY OTHER HOLIDAY IN ANY WAY. So it was promised, so it was done. This Thanksgiving was proof positive that change can only be initiated by the person who desires the change. I didn't sit around waiting for anyone else to make me happy, I made myself happy. That shit so works!

My sister and I decided to cook and although we got off to a late start, it was fantastic. The menu consisted of a big ole turkey, a big ole ham, collard greens with ham hocks, potato salad, baked macaroni and cheese, stuffing with cranberry, spanish rice, black beans, iron skillet cornbread with cranberries, whole cranberry jelly (running theme here), candied yams and corn on the cob. We went IN!!! My sister is DANGEROUS with a damn turkey, let me tell you! My only contribution to the bird was to advise that it be cooked in the rack on it's belly, that way the breast wouldn't dry out. It's a cool little trick and although it's not pretty, it ensures the bird stays moist. I took pictures of everything as we cooked so it's not all serving platter pretty but it was good. When I tell you my sister put her foot in that turkey and her other foot in her spanish rice, I mean it. By the time we were all done eating, it was all we could do to stagger to our beds and fall into a food induced coma. We couldn't even eat dessert. We were a turkey-laden mess. My friends Nas & Kish came through with their adorable son and we all talked, laughed and basically were thankful for being (even though this is not one of my favorite holidays because of what it represents). However, if we have a day off from work to come together, enjoy and appreciate our company all at the same time in every house in the cul-de-sac, why not do it?

I went to bed at about 9pm that night. NO lie.

Pause.

The old man sitting in the seat in front of me just farted. I loathe him. This is what I get for wanting to sit somewhere quiet. We are the only two people in the car. He was sitting on the other side from where I am and for some strange reason decided to get up and sit on my side. Gah!

Resume.

GRAY FRIDAY

I don't know about you but I didn't blackout shopping on Friday. I did hit the mall with Nas, Kisha and the baby but I wasn't overly impressed...

 It was a pain in the ass getting to the mall because parking was a bitch. People were acting like St. Anthony's sandals were on sale and going fast. The weird thing is: there wasn't much of a sale! When I was growing up (man, I'm even starting to show my age sound old), black Friday sales were something crucial. Stores were trying to move merch at any cost. Prices were slashed 50-75% on already discounted merchandise. It was nuts. This year I walked in and the the deepest discount I found was 50% off on clearance items. Most stores offered 10-40% off. To me that is no different from their "hi today is Saturday" sale prices. I wasn't impressed. I did find one or two things that made me smile but other than that, it was largely a bust. I did find some fake suede booties at Forever 21. Shoot me, but every so often I find stuff I like in teeny-bopper shops. You have to remember that I wear a size 0 - 1 and I can't find clothes that fit well everywhere that has the kind of umpf style I like. Trust me, I don't go overboard with the scandalous outfits but I will throw on some liquid leggings and strut my stuff. Yup. There's also a discount shop called Papaya that I found a really nice satiny cocktail dress. I gotta take a pic in it to show you... Maybe I'll rig up the old tripod and try that tomorrow.

It's takes a little more effort to be fashionable when you're as broke as I am. The things that I would really love to buy I can't even dream about affording right now without a sugar daddy lottery windfall. Basically I have caviar taste on a spam budget. I make it work by going to a lot of thrift stores and also going to lower-end shops. When I say lower-end, it doesn't mean it's all trash, just most of it. You don't always get the quality and construction of pricey pieces but you can still look good for next to nothing. Just because I buy cheap doesn't mean I'm willing to buy anything that is really badly made. I don't go for shitty construction or material that disintegrates if you look at it too hard. I like low-priced items that look good and hold up reasonably well for the price. All that considered, thrift shops are THE SHIT. I have found some really beautiful pieces dirt cheap. I was supposed to post about my thriftiness but I've been slacking off. I won't do that anymore. I'm going to go back to being faithful to the things that make me happy and blogging is one of them.

I had to share this with y'all...

yes. I was confused as well. I forgot the name of the taco stand in the mall that she works at because you've GOT TO SEE THIS SHIT IN PERSON. I was so distracted I couldn't order my food. Clearly she either:

a) has no friends

or

b) her friends hate her.

I don't know which one it is but it was nuts.

After all the semi-shopping, we headed back to the house to revisit the thanksgiving smörgåsbord that was still taking up all the space in our refrigerator. After we ate, Kisha et al. gave me a ride to the Amtrak station so that I could head to LA for the weekend to visit my LA crew. I didn't get to see all of my friends on this go round because many of them had gone back to their original homes for the holidays. However I haven't been to LA in over 6 years and it was good to be back. The last time I was in LA I didn't do  that much. I stayed at a hotel near the airport so I didn't go to many places. I did surf... well, let's be honest. I got on the surfboard and when the first wave smacked my ass I kind of just wheezed and got off the surfboard. It was then I decided to stick to skateboarding because unlike water, the ground doesn't hit you back when you hit it. I saw Prince live at the Staples Center, went to a Spanish club and that was pretty much it. Prior to that trip I hadn't been to LA since somewhere around '92 (it was the year Ice Cube's "Death Certificate" came out - damn I'm getting old...).

I'm going to have to get back to the trip specifics another time. My train is pulling into the station and I gotta get ready to get off... Besides, my laptop battery is drained.

See y'all soon

m.

what do you mean my website is down...gah!!!!

Blog By #1: No That Heffa Ain't

Ok, "Blog By" is the phrase I'm going to use when I have something quick to say about what ever is on my my mind at odd moments.

Let us begin.

So there's this chick from my "past" who I have a tendency to cyber-run into every so often. The world is a small place and the internet makes it even smaller. I don't like the broad. Mainly because she slept with my man (well, she slept with him when I had a man and he was it... past tense). Now I know people say it's not all the woman's fault. Trust me, I'm well aware of the part he played in it and the proper riot act was read to him with haste when called for.

The issue I had with her is that she SMILED IN MY FACE while she was doing it. Look bitches, if you're gonna fuck someone else's partner (no matter who initiated it) have the common courtesy to not ATTEMPT TO BEFRIEND THE BROAD while you're doing it. Because when a dame finds out your ass is scandalous and tells you that she's gonna push your teeth out the back of your head DON'T BE SURPRISED!

Anyway back to the bridge troll... She not only fucked him but turned around and still hung out with him on the low. They're both guilty as hell of smiling in my face and doing the dumb shit behind my back. I can't begin to tell you the amount of inappropriate texts, emails and discussions (as well a instances of hanging out) that took place AFTER the whole upheaval of him cheating. He and I were trying to go through the healing process (or so my dumb ass thought) and they were still playing doctor...

Needless to say he got punted way past the curb and she's still afraid that I might make good on a few promises I made to her pertaining to the changing of her destiny if she didn't hold her corner. I've long since moved on until today...

While browsing around the global village that is the net, I noticed a discussion taking place about "real men". And who, might you ask, was involved in the aforementioned conversation? Yep. The fucking bridge troll. Her stance? Something to the effect that there was a shortage of real men who knew how to act.

*blank stare*

Bitch. Please.
You have the nerve to comment on the behavior of real men when you contribute to the bullshit that suckers do? You knowingly participated in acts of infidelity and went so far as to try to befriend the woman who was being effected by the fuckery while attempting to excuse your behavior AND condone his?
Fuck. You.

Why don't you act like a "real woman" and stop FUCKING OTHER WOMEN'S BOYFRIENDS/PARTNERS/HUSBANDS/SIGNIFICANT BOTHERS!! (yes i do mean significant bother) Don't contribute to the madness. But since you are contributing by gapping your legs for any dude that throws your insecure ass compliment (you fucking mud duck), I suggest you go siddown somewheres and
Shut.
The Fuck.
Up.

Thanks.

m.
delivering that venom on the fly with a blog by...

Cali-4-Ni-Aaaay

Let me begin at the point that I left off.

I ran into my homegirl at the airport. Turns out she works for JetBlue (I LOVE JETBLUE). She was nice enough to upgrade my seat to the front where there's a little more legroom etc... I didn't think about it until I got on the plane but I'm 5'1"... the hell do I need more legroom for? It also seems that I'm cursed. Although I thoroughly appreciated my girl giving me the new, improved, seat at the front of the aircraft (first broad on, first broad off type dealie), there was a price to pay. I got stuck next to a chatterbox and her kid.

Let me start by hipping you all to the fact that I am not a big fan of flying. Something about being thousands of feet above the ground makes me queasy in places better left unmentioned. As a matter of fact I don't feel that great on anything moving unless it's my feet. My skateboarding skills end at hills and high curbs. I have been known to to run into a parked car on bikes and I sit up on the wheel like a little old lady when driving (which makes the fact that I tend to speed even more hilarious). All in all, I am slightly motion-challenged. I'm a ground person and I'm happy that way. The last thing I want to deal with on a flight while trying to keep my food from coming out of either end during turbulence, is another scaredy cat yapper.


This woman talked for 5 FUCKING HOURS. I mean it. 5. the flight was 5 and a half hours. She, like many small children usually do, fell asleep HALF AN HOUR BEFORE WE LANDED. Yes. I did want to strangle that ass. Her 4 year old daughter was a doll for the most part. She and the other little girl sitting across the aisle were very well behaved. The baby sitting behind me was also pretty good. She only threw a fit once or twice. The lady sitting next to me, however? PAIN IN MY CUTE LITTLE BUTT. We hit a patch of turbulence that had me hedging my bets by praying to a couple of Gods. She decided the look of abject fear on my face wasn't enough to keep her mouth shut, so she started talking about PLANE CRASHES. Gah!!!

If that wasn't enough, this woman kept asking me questions about my life. If I didn't answer a particular question, she'd rephrase it as if I was too stupid to realize she was still being fucking nosy. For example:

"What are you going to San Diego for?"
"To visit family."
"So what do you plan on doing while you're in San Diego?"
"I plan on visiting my family."
"So you're not going to do anything in particular?"
"Yes, actually I'm particularly going to visit my family..."

Bitch. Are you wetoddid?

I could go on and on about blabberjabber but I don't have the energy. Needless to say, just as I was thanking the various Gods I had prayed to during the turbulent times for granting me the boon of causing her to nod off, the captain told us to get ready to land. FUCK. Thanks.

Upon deplaning, I went to what I think is the prettiest mosaic tiled airport bathroom, then was forced to walk at least half a mile to baggage claim. I got my gear, got in the car and requested sustenance. This came in the form of DelTaco. Think Taco Bell on steroids. I told my boy Evan about my first meal and he asked if we were all on crack. Direct quote? "You're right next to Mexico and you're eating a fast food burrito? Y'all must be on crack..." I told my sister that we should stop at a mom & pop joint but that idea was nixed because broinlaw doesn't like to try new things and feels safer with fast food.
No. That doesn't make any sense to me either.

We arrived home and before you cold say "flibbertygibbert" I was asleep... only to awaken while it was still dark out because I still was on NY time. I'm working on that one. I woke up at 8am eastern the last 3 days but this morning I managed to fall back asleep.

I'm going to have to continue this a little later because the load of laundry I'm doing just stopped and there's some high-pitched squealing of the 3 year old variety going on...


m.
getting her domestic goddess on....

California Dreamin'

I'm sitting in the terminal waiting for my flight to California to start boarding. As always, I feel weird leaving NYC behind because it's my home. On the other hand I'm so looking forward to what life might be like in Cali...With the exception of a few things... like my brother-in-law and not having a car.

Let me just tell you how I LOVE JetBlue. The curbside bag check? A breeze. $2 and no hassle. I was actually 4lbs over and dude let me take out a few items until I was only 1lb over and he let me slide. Security checkpoint was a breeze. The nice lady reminded me to take off my belt and didn't make me take off all of my silver jewelry. Then there's the free wifi. Yaaay!

My last few days in NY sucked. I enjoyed hanging at Madame X and got quite snookered. Rani sure can make a drink. As for the rest of my time, meh... The less said about that, the better. Not to mention it's really not worth it.

Holy crap. it's now 4pm. We're boarding on time. I LOVE JETBLUE. Word. To easy flights and whatnot.

M,
getting her travel on...

Do-Over

Remember that? Back in school when you were playing during recess and you missed the hoop/goal/ball-altogether, you asked for a do-over then you made up some lame ass excuse as to why you needed one? I need a do-over on this blog.

I wrote a long, well crafted and rather long winded post earlier today. Then I took it down because I realized how lame it was to sit around and complain about db. Seriously. So I'll complain about something else...Heh!

My feelings are kind of hurt. I'm heading to see my lilsis in a few days and I just found out that her husband doesn't particularly want me (or my mom) to come out there. I'm kind of offended. I admit that we didn't always get along but I thought we solved all of that and left it behind us when sis shipped out to Irag. Maybe I was wrong. I'm starting to believe that he wants to keep lilsis and the girls all to himself. Too bad we're family and I love them. I guess he also forgot that I do my best to help out when I'm around. I guess this trip won't be as comfortable as I hoped. But that's not what matters. My nieces and lilsis does.

My mom has a habit of talking to me from 3 rooms away and then expects me to answer. I'm not too sure why but it drives me nuts.

My lilsis brought back a fantastically toasty blanket from Iraq. It's so warm it's insane. I have one problem though... it's not exactly cold but it isn't warm either so I keep driving myself batshit taking the blanket off my legs then getting cold and putting it back on. I'm getting really tired.

I have a wedgie.
Seriously.

I'm going to stop writing because I really don't have much to say.
So here's a pic...

m.
doing a whole lot of nothing...

I Got A New Attitude

Today's title brought to you by the one and only legend Ms. Patti LaBelle. Take a gander because she sat down with the women and served the children. Snaps. Amen.
 
These ladies know their stuff. Get 'em Ms. Patti!!!

How do you like the new look?
It goes with my new outlook on life..
The nice folks over at PYZAM gives stuff like this out for free.
Go visit them.
Seriously.
Go.
Now
IT'S FREE DAMMIT!!!

m,
is willing to donate to people who give her stuff for free

Today's LoLcat & I Need Therapy

see more kittehs that'll gitcha here

DoucheBaggery For Your Ass

I swear... you'd think I'd have learned by now. I seriously need to to procure a prescription for Valium get help because honestly, I cannot tell you why I run like hell from keep letting the same people come around that try their best to inflict misery. I'm not going to sit here and talk about how bad of a douchbag my ex is because it's partially my fault. I keep letting the db within a hundred yards of me and thinking he's gonna at like a human being.... EPIC FAIL.

The other night my homegirl invited me down to her open mic. I went because I always skip her events and I was beginning to feel really bad about it. I figured db wouldn't be there because he has a job now and he usually tries to act like an adult when he's employed.

Wrong.

I walk up to the venue, say hi to the few people I know and walk right past the db who had the nerve to say hi to me. I go inside and order a drink. He sidles up to the bar and calls me over... by reaching across other patron to tap my shoulder repeatedly. So, because clearly I don't have the sense God gave a rock, I go over to see what he wants.
Mistake 1.
He begins to lecture me on how dare I not say hello. My response? Motherfucker I don't owe you a word, pivot, exit scene.

I run into a guy I haven't seen in a while. He hugs me and we start to chitchat. Db throws a napkin at me. I turn to see what his fucking problem is and he holds up 5 fingers. I go over and ask him what the hell is his dysfunction.
Mistake 2.
He tells me I have 5 minutes before he smacks me in the face with a beer stein.
My response? Motherfucker I wish you would. I tell his bff to get his ass before I call the fucking cops.

I then go sit down after telling my friend-from-the-old-days that I'll catch up with him later because I don't want my fftod, his brother and his boys to beat the living shit out of db. Look at me having a heart and whatnot. Pfffffft....

I alert my girl Raine to the douchebaggery going on and proceed to enjoy the show. Db walks out. I thought he left so I relaxed.
Wrong.
He re-enters, sits down next to me and implores me to be polite because after all we've been through we should at least be friends. I try to not vomit be somewhat civil because I don't want the world in my business. I tell him calmly that I have nothing to say to him besides eat a bag of monkey dicks. His response? He wrenches my crackberry out of my hand and leaves with it. I tell his friend he's got 5 seconds to give me back my property. He gives it back... minus 1 track ball and a few keys missing. Fuck. Phone 4... down and out.

You would think I would have had the sense to either call the cops, leave or kick him in the balls by now.
Nope.
Why?
Because I, La Loca Mala, am a fucking jackass...

In the next 20 minutes he:
walked up to me while I was talking to someone and pulled my hair (which prompted the guy to run for the hills - who the fuck wants to be around a chick with drama)
Stood in front of me and told me that nobody is gonna help me then pulled a lighter out of his pocket and attempted to light my fucking hair on fire (minor singeing occurred)
passed me on my way to the atm inside the venue (where I was getting money to get the fuck out of there) and shoved me into the bar.
called me many a tasty name such as fucking cunt/bitch/whore

Until I finally got a cab to get out of dodge...
Yep.
He's a real winner.

But somewhere along the line when we were dating I let him think this kind of behavior was acceptable. He was always a pro at name calling and property destruction when we were together. He claimed it's because I'm mean and I torture him... and because he thinks I believe that there are no consequences for my actions. He's wrong. There are consequences for me allowing people who aren't worthy of being stifled with a pillow at night into my life. That consequence is experiencing abuse... emotional and mental FUCKERY by a douchebag disguised as a nice guy.

After that whole experience, he has the nerve to email to tell me that he loves me so much that :
he will act an ass if I see him in public
he is going to treat any other woman that he deals with like shit because I left him
he is in pain that only I can fix


Yes people. I knew how to pick 'em didn't I.

So I blocked him from calling/texting my phone, blocked his email address, removed and blocked him from bbmessengering me. I scheduled myself for sessions with a dv counselor. I also made arrangements to visit my sister when she moves to San Diego so that I can step away from my usual surroundings.

I'm so done. It's bad enough when a person is in an abusive relationship but going through the bullshit with an abusive EX-RELATIONSHIP is just too much to stomach. Seriously. 911 is on speed-dial. I took my counselor's advice and created a list of boundaries and limits that I will not allow ANYONE to cross. That was therapeutic and a great step towards where I want to go in my future.



Am I embarrassed? Yep. A little bit. But I'm not ashamed. These things happen. The trick is to recover from them and move forward healthily. I also hope someone reads this and maybe gets a little strength from it. I have friends who have dealt with physical abuse. I've had my own experiences but honestly I've found mental/emotional fuckery to be so very harmful and much harder to exit because of the brainwashing involved... But nothing is forever and I'm not afraid to ask for help.

Beyond Thunderdome

My mom is a hoot.
My daughter is doing rather well in school
My nieces have decided that I have no right to be in NY and I should "come home ti-ti"
I've become addicted to Kitchen Nightmares (preferably the UK version)
I have THE CRAZY CRUSH on Gordon Ramsay
I lost all the weight I gained due stress :( but I'm working on gaining it back
Life is Good.
And to prove it, here's some Halloween Happiness


m.
is picking herself up and dusting herself off...